I don't know why this popped into my mind the other day but I was trying to remember the days after I got out of the hospital and what I was like at home. What did I do? Did I sleep a lot? Did I eat? How did I walk, or try to walk? Sometimes my memories get cloudy and I can't recall certain details. I like to play a game where I see how far back I can remember. Sometimes things are crystal clear, other times, not so much.
I asked my boyfriend about what he remembers from the days after I got home. It's crazy to think that certain things are gone but again, you all know I am a firm believer of well if it's not there anymore, embrace that. Some days I wish I could have taped myself and some of the conversations I had with myself, other times, not so much. I think they would scare me today in the way that some old pictures the first 6 months post stroke do. Even though I want to remember, I don't want to remember all that. It still scares me.
Today, the weather in NY reflects my brain today, cloudy and grey. Hoping for brighter skies tomorrow.