Hello Shoulder Pain

Fall is a beautiful season. I love it for many reasons. The beautiful slight chill in the air lets you know that it is not quite winter, not quite summer but something delicious in between. The leaves drift from tree limbs and delicately fall to the floor in shades of color even Da Vinci himself couldn't mix. The sunsets even look brighter and more vivid.

Fall is great but Fall alerts me that Winter is coming. I have talked about the feeling my right side gets when it's cold. It feels like someone is pushing down on that part of me, forcing my arm and leg down, making it feel heavy, like a bag of cold, wet, sand. It hits me out of nowhere. The slight temperature change can sometimes make my right side feel like it's completely dead without warning and it SUCKS. Oftentimes I thought this would go away, that this was just a lingering feeling from treatment I got ie warfarin but it's not. It's going to be there for the rest of my life. I'm ok with it. Really I am. There are worse things I could be stuck with but I still beat myself up for that one decision that seems to have plagued me with this pain-I should have gotten physical therapy for myself when I had the chance...

Peeps say, well just get it now but the truth of the matter is that the damage is done. I can't go back. I still have time accepting that but what are you going to do? Should I just sit here and stew about it? NO. I accept the consequences of my actions and while that may be a hard pill to swallow, it's still something I have to put to rest. Many times we poison ourselves further thinking of the what ifs instead of focusing on what we do have, what the stroke didn't take from us. Maybe if we strengthen those parts, the other parts that are "under construction" won't seem as devastating to live without. We should embrace our newfound selves. Just because a leg or eye or arm may not work doesn't mean we don't have other things to be thankful for. We still have parts that work including the most important part to survive, the heart.