Happy Holidays!

December! 
The last month of the year. Is it just me or has it flown by? It may be me getting older but I find that time passes by so much quicker now. It's like that moment when you're little and suddenly aware of yourself. Think about it, what is your earliest memory? When were you aware that you were in existence. Now we can all say well I remember 10 years ago, 20 years ago, but what about beyond that? Weird, right? How far back can you go? I'm going on a tangent, huh.

Anywho, I have a lot to be thankful for-my health, my family, my friends and my health (so nice I had to say it twice). What are you thankful for? What was the one thing this year that took you by surprise?

Hoping you all are warm and safe this holiday season and wishing you all peace, love and continued good health. Here's to 2014!

Hello Shoulder Pain

Fall is a beautiful season. I love it for many reasons. The beautiful slight chill in the air lets you know that it is not quite winter, not quite summer but something delicious in between. The leaves drift from tree limbs and delicately fall to the floor in shades of color even Da Vinci himself couldn't mix. The sunsets even look brighter and more vivid.

Fall is great but Fall alerts me that Winter is coming. I have talked about the feeling my right side gets when it's cold. It feels like someone is pushing down on that part of me, forcing my arm and leg down, making it feel heavy, like a bag of cold, wet, sand. It hits me out of nowhere. The slight temperature change can sometimes make my right side feel like it's completely dead without warning and it SUCKS. Oftentimes I thought this would go away, that this was just a lingering feeling from treatment I got ie warfarin but it's not. It's going to be there for the rest of my life. I'm ok with it. Really I am. There are worse things I could be stuck with but I still beat myself up for that one decision that seems to have plagued me with this pain-I should have gotten physical therapy for myself when I had the chance...

Peeps say, well just get it now but the truth of the matter is that the damage is done. I can't go back. I still have time accepting that but what are you going to do? Should I just sit here and stew about it? NO. I accept the consequences of my actions and while that may be a hard pill to swallow, it's still something I have to put to rest. Many times we poison ourselves further thinking of the what ifs instead of focusing on what we do have, what the stroke didn't take from us. Maybe if we strengthen those parts, the other parts that are "under construction" won't seem as devastating to live without. We should embrace our newfound selves. Just because a leg or eye or arm may not work doesn't mean we don't have other things to be thankful for. We still have parts that work including the most important part to survive, the heart.

Warfarin Revisited

My Dad has been having some health problems as of late. As a reminder, he had a stroke and a heart attack at the same time in 2001. Recently he's complained of chest pain and now has to get angioplasty on Tuesday. I've been speaking to him about his condition and he told me he was put back on Warfarin. This made me so sad. Blood thinners are awful as you've heard me blog about time and time again. I know that this is necessary for what he is going through right now but I hate to see him go through this journey again.

I also asked him if his doctors spoke to him about what he can and cannot eat. How if injures himself, he should go to the hospital and I was shocked to hear that they told him NOTHING. It's incredibly frustrating that a hospital would let their patient go without giving them information and risks associated with this drug. WTF!? I am furious. Thank goodness he told me that is what he was being put on. I was able to share what knowledge I had. This is unacceptable. 

How are we expected to live a healthy life if we aren't given information?

The Mayo Clinic and Postpartum Stroke

Hi Fellow Strokies!

I got a piece of information from Narayan Kisson regarding the Mayo Clinic. They are researching postpartum stroke, which is a stroke that occurs within 6 weeks of giving birth. If you have suffered from a postpartum stroke, Mayo Clinic is conducting a study to better understand the condition and your participation would be helpful in determining optimal preventative or treatment strategies.

To participate in Mayo Clinic's postpartum stroke research study, learn about study participation here


Help prevent and treat someone! Knowledge is prevention!

10.30.10

I woke up with a migraine.
I went to work.
I ate a granny smith apple.
I felt sick.
I left the office.
Threw up in the trash can by the elevator.
Went home.
Threw on pajamas.
Curled into bed.
Slept until dinner time.
Had Chicken Milanese.
It tasted like metal.
Went back to sleep.
Hoped I would be well enough for Halloween.
My head hurt.
My head hurt.
My head hurt.
10.30.10

Roller Coasters No More

On Saturday I went to Great Adventure for Fright Fest. As you know, I LOVE Halloween. Ghouls and gremlins and zombies and all that. I pretty much felt like a 10 year old child when I arrived with my eyes wide and grinning from ear to ear with my heart jumping out of my chest at the thought of funnel cake and ice cream and fries and and and!!!

This was my first trip to GA since the stroke so I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. I used to be a roller coaster girl. I would be the first one in line for anything with a drop or a loop ready to scream my head off and smile for the camera right before the ride came to an end. This was my thing aaaand now it wasn't my thing. Whenever you walk up to these rides, there is a sign that tells you whether or not you should even attempt to get on, a list of warnings and whatnots. Aneurysms and high blood pressure was on there right next to pregnancy. I saw this in front of numerous rides and didn't think much of it until I thought it didn't apply to me. A few of us were on line to get on Nitro. I really thought I could do it. I even walked up to the front of the line and then, when I was in my seat, all strapped in, I panicked and ran off. I got the same terrified feeling from the ride as just sitting in the seat. People have had strokes from roller coasters and I knew this, but I still wanted to go on the coaster, I wanted to be the old me. As I watched everyone turn and twist and scream on what was supposed to be my ride, I felt sorry for myself but not for too long. Just because I can't ride Nitro, doesn't mean I'm any less of myself than I was before. It's just something I used to do. I've evolved :) Just go with me here, you guys!

We continued walking around the park and came to Skull Mountain. For those of you who don't know, Skull Mountain is the roller coaster for people who don't like roller coasters. It has a short little drop and NO loops, basically a warm up to the other coasters. This I could certainly do! Not only had I been on it 100 times but I knew the route and there were 9 year olds going on this ride. Never had you seen anyone with a bigger smile their face than me getting strapped into that ride. The wind blew in my face, I laughed when we dropped, I put my hands up, I got my fix.

Is It Weird?

Is it weird that I look at October with such glee? As a child looks at Christmas? This is my month, My rebirth. Take back what it took from you. Take it for what it's worth. Take back your stroke month.

I replay what happened in my mind. What I can remember at least. I try and replay every move I made this month. Everything that happened. Everything that could have changed my path. And then, about mid month, when the feeling of this had to happen sets in, I exhale, I breathe, I give thanks. This had to happen to me. I am happy it did. I am happy today! 3 YEARS A SURVIVOR! 3 years strong. I pledge this month to my Dad who survived a stroke 12 years ago, to little Ava, who hasn't yet reached 3 years old, to Stacy, who just had her first child, to David, who is recovering and finding his footing, to Heidi, who survived open heart surgery, to everyone who shared with me and continues to walk with me through this journey with stroked out hand and foot. I thank you.
You inspire me.
You are amazing.
You are a survivor.
Take back your month!