Thursday, May 29, 2014

Deja Vu

*My Mom had surgery on Tuesday at NYU Hospital, the same hospital where I was admitted after my stroke. Once she was in recovery, the doctors and nurses said they were going to move her to a room so I rode up with them and her. I kept thinking about my stay at NYU when I was in the Stroke Unit and how this was such a nice hospital with courteous staff. When we were all on the elevator, I kept thinking, this all looks so familiar and then we got off on the floor where my Mom was going to be stationed. I looked up and saw a sign that said Stroke Unit and a chill went up my spine. Immediately, I asked the nurse why she was being stationed on this floor and he said that the other side of the floor was general, not the stroke unit. I didn't feel comfortable AT ALL. Here was a place I was hoping to never visit again and I was thrust into it without being prepared or given a warning. It made me so angry.
Thinking back on it, I still get uncomfortable...but why? I know I am healthy and I am not (knock on wood) going to end up back in the ICU but still, I could have done without being on that floor unexpectedly.
When my Mom realized where she was, she just smiled and nodded. Of course she had bigger things on her mind, you know, like recovering haha. She's fine btw. I stayed with her as long as she needed me but I would be lying if I didn't say that I couldn't wait to get out of there! I kept watching the clock counting down the minutes of time that seemed to be moving super slow. The door to her room was open and I had a clear view of a man walking the floor with a nurse. He must have just had a stroke and was trying to get his bearings. I watched him walk very slowly and carefully with the help of an aid. Seeing the small smile that came across his face as he started to move with more ease made my heart swell. Small victories!
The next day, I went back and I didn't have such a strong reaction to the floor. I let go of the fear I had about ending up back in that place and tried to look at that floor fondly remembering the small steps I took down that hallway almost four years ago.

*Forgive my grammar this post. I am battling a terrible cold that has rendered me quite foggy.

1 comment:

  1. You know, after recovering from my stroke, the very next year , I had terrible fever, vomiting, and pounding headaches all happening in the evening only. I was afraid, I went to the doctor and for a few days they just gave me some medicines for the fever, but still i was having fever during the evenings. Then, I got upset with my husband for not taking me to the hospital, for he was saying I was making a mountain out of a mole hill and that just for a fever, he can't be admitting me in the hospital. As I got upset, I started to raise my voice and shouted at him for being so insensitive, I was very upset,and somehow felt I needed to go to a proper hospital to check what was really wrong with me, and while I was shouting I suddenly lost my voice again like I did when I had my stroke the previous year, not lost actually but it was very incoherent, and suddenly my hands and leg became weak, and my god , i thought i was going through another stroke.
    Seeing my situation, my husband immediately drove me to the hospital and there they did various test, but could not find anything wrong with me. My fever was very high, but they could not decide, whether this fever was jaundice, pnemonia, Malaria or one of those things ,for the symptoms of all these are more or less the same. For three days i was on drips and some medicines to reduce my fever, I had MRI which was not even done while I had my first stroke. I had a lumbar puncture, the tests did not reveal the cause . It could have been menengitis, they wanted to be sure before they administered the correct medicines.
    Here i was going through those symptoms, not able to sleep, pounding headaches, terrible cramps in my stomach, loss of appetite etc.
    Then the doctors decided to give me the malaria medicine, which brought down my fever immediately, and slowly my speech came back more fluently, but I was still very weak , with no desire t o eat or drink anything.
    After about ten days I was released from the hospital and it took me two months to get back to eating normally.
    So you see though I did not have a second stroke as I had feared, it was only the weakness in my body that had triggered similar symptoms like my right hand and and leg felt wobbly, ad I had the temporary speech problem.
    Also because a blood test was not taken immediately, the later blood tests were all showing only negative results. Als because they had my history in the hospital, they could not take ay chances and give me any medicine without being sure of the cause.
    When I had this malaria, I felt so terrible, that I felt stroke was much better, and I felt that nobody should ever get malaria.
    My husband my children took such good care of me, and of course the doctors and the nurses in the hospital also took good care of me.
    I am fine now, it almost 14 years now , and touch wood, I have had no problem and I intend also the I have none in the present or the future.
    I can totally relate to your fear, it is quite natural, but I am sure nothing will happen to you again for you are taking good care of yourself.