Monday, February 17, 2014

The Challenge With Strokies And Grad School

My brain is mush.
It feels like it has been punched and pounded to a pulp.
No pills really help.
There's never enough rest.

It SUCKS! but it will be over in three months. This semester at Grad School is my most challenging. I have never had to read, write and think so much in as far as I can remember (which let's face it, can be true or not). I love being an MFA candidate. Love love love but it is sometimes very frustrating when a class of my peers discusses works in class and I can't contribute because my brain can't catch up or gets nervous and my words run away and hide.

I get frustrated when we talk about things we've read because I'm pretty sure I read some of these books in High School. I just can't remember them...They're still in that locked part of my brain I don't have the key for, the room of secrets and memories I can no longer access. I'm having one of those days. I HATE not being able to remember sometimes. Brain, you could save me countless hours of re-reading things...but on the flipside, who else can re-live the feeling of reading A Raisin In The Sun for the first time? I have to calm myself and realize that this can sometimes be a blessing. In a class setting of course it's not but it will be my little secret, one I can smile to myself about when I'm feeling upset in a room where everyone's memory was like mine once was.

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