Your Eyes and the Cold and Stroke and BRRRRR

Anyone else have issues with their eyes post stroke?
Right after my stroke, I could have sworn my eyes changed. My glasses didn't seem to do their duty as well as they used to. I told my doc and she said that this will most likely get better as recovery went on and it has but in the winter...and I had forgotten about this...my vision sometimes goes back to that weird limbo it was in before.
Today I had a moment where I forgot that that used to happen and thought I was going a bit crazy but then remembered that old man winter is a foul person for another reason.

Any of my other strokies ever experience this?

The Challenge With Strokies And Grad School

My brain is mush.
It feels like it has been punched and pounded to a pulp.
No pills really help.
There's never enough rest.

It SUCKS! but it will be over in three months. This semester at Grad School is my most challenging. I have never had to read, write and think so much in as far as I can remember (which let's face it, can be true or not). I love being an MFA candidate. Love love love but it is sometimes very frustrating when a class of my peers discusses works in class and I can't contribute because my brain can't catch up or gets nervous and my words run away and hide.

I get frustrated when we talk about things we've read because I'm pretty sure I read some of these books in High School. I just can't remember them...They're still in that locked part of my brain I don't have the key for, the room of secrets and memories I can no longer access. I'm having one of those days. I HATE not being able to remember sometimes. Brain, you could save me countless hours of re-reading things...but on the flipside, who else can re-live the feeling of reading A Raisin In The Sun for the first time? I have to calm myself and realize that this can sometimes be a blessing. In a class setting of course it's not but it will be my little secret, one I can smile to myself about when I'm feeling upset in a room where everyone's memory was like mine once was.

Show Me Your Stroke Ink!

Happy New Year Fellow Strokies!

I hope your 2014 started off happy and healthy. For readers in the warmer parts of the world, please send some sun to NY! We could really use it.

How have you chosen to celebrate your stroke? I know. Really, Eljon? Celebrating your stroke? I stand by that statement. When going through recovery, you have to remember, you're getting to know your new self! So why not celebrate it? No matter what you have lost due to stroke, remember that you are a warrior. I read something in class that struck me and I think it applies to this situation. "Ask anyone who has ever changed a career, ended a long-standing relationship, or recovered from a serious illness or injury; they will tell you it is like a death, a dying of one's former self so that a new self may be born in its stead."Have any of you felt like that?

Recently I've been getting some emails about my stroke tattoo and have been encouraging readers to send me pics of their beautiful stroke ribbon ink. Below is Nicole's new stroke tat and her description of her body art. She is a two time stroke survivor.

The meaning of the purple cross-spirituality and courage. These are things that hit home for me, plus it's my son's favorite color. If it wasn't for him, I would have given up my fight. He keeps me going. I chose blue so it would tie in with the other two colors. -Nicole

Remember to speak to your doctor if you're going to go down the path of getting a tattoo after stroke. For me, I had to wait until I was off Warfarin for a few months. Blood thinners and tattoos don't mix. Seriously. You don't want to go to the hospital after getting freshly inked because you're bleeding out!

Please send me your pics if you have a stroke tattoo and I'll happily post them.

Be well!

Happy Holidays!

December! 
The last month of the year. Is it just me or has it flown by? It may be me getting older but I find that time passes by so much quicker now. It's like that moment when you're little and suddenly aware of yourself. Think about it, what is your earliest memory? When were you aware that you were in existence. Now we can all say well I remember 10 years ago, 20 years ago, but what about beyond that? Weird, right? How far back can you go? I'm going on a tangent, huh.

Anywho, I have a lot to be thankful for-my health, my family, my friends and my health (so nice I had to say it twice). What are you thankful for? What was the one thing this year that took you by surprise?

Hoping you all are warm and safe this holiday season and wishing you all peace, love and continued good health. Here's to 2014!

Hello Shoulder Pain

Fall is a beautiful season. I love it for many reasons. The beautiful slight chill in the air lets you know that it is not quite winter, not quite summer but something delicious in between. The leaves drift from tree limbs and delicately fall to the floor in shades of color even Da Vinci himself couldn't mix. The sunsets even look brighter and more vivid.

Fall is great but Fall alerts me that Winter is coming. I have talked about the feeling my right side gets when it's cold. It feels like someone is pushing down on that part of me, forcing my arm and leg down, making it feel heavy, like a bag of cold, wet, sand. It hits me out of nowhere. The slight temperature change can sometimes make my right side feel like it's completely dead without warning and it SUCKS. Oftentimes I thought this would go away, that this was just a lingering feeling from treatment I got ie warfarin but it's not. It's going to be there for the rest of my life. I'm ok with it. Really I am. There are worse things I could be stuck with but I still beat myself up for that one decision that seems to have plagued me with this pain-I should have gotten physical therapy for myself when I had the chance...

Peeps say, well just get it now but the truth of the matter is that the damage is done. I can't go back. I still have time accepting that but what are you going to do? Should I just sit here and stew about it? NO. I accept the consequences of my actions and while that may be a hard pill to swallow, it's still something I have to put to rest. Many times we poison ourselves further thinking of the what ifs instead of focusing on what we do have, what the stroke didn't take from us. Maybe if we strengthen those parts, the other parts that are "under construction" won't seem as devastating to live without. We should embrace our newfound selves. Just because a leg or eye or arm may not work doesn't mean we don't have other things to be thankful for. We still have parts that work including the most important part to survive, the heart.

Warfarin Revisited

My Dad has been having some health problems as of late. As a reminder, he had a stroke and a heart attack at the same time in 2001. Recently he's complained of chest pain and now has to get angioplasty on Tuesday. I've been speaking to him about his condition and he told me he was put back on Warfarin. This made me so sad. Blood thinners are awful as you've heard me blog about time and time again. I know that this is necessary for what he is going through right now but I hate to see him go through this journey again.

I also asked him if his doctors spoke to him about what he can and cannot eat. How if injures himself, he should go to the hospital and I was shocked to hear that they told him NOTHING. It's incredibly frustrating that a hospital would let their patient go without giving them information and risks associated with this drug. WTF!? I am furious. Thank goodness he told me that is what he was being put on. I was able to share what knowledge I had. This is unacceptable. 

How are we expected to live a healthy life if we aren't given information?

The Mayo Clinic and Postpartum Stroke

Hi Fellow Strokies!

I got a piece of information from Narayan Kisson regarding the Mayo Clinic. They are researching postpartum stroke, which is a stroke that occurs within 6 weeks of giving birth. If you have suffered from a postpartum stroke, Mayo Clinic is conducting a study to better understand the condition and your participation would be helpful in determining optimal preventative or treatment strategies.

To participate in Mayo Clinic's postpartum stroke research study, learn about study participation here


Help prevent and treat someone! Knowledge is prevention!