Guest Stroke Blogger: Meet Lauren

Meet Lauren who suffered a stroke at the age of 23.  Lauren had an ischemic stroke due to 3 little holes in her heart she was born with, something that wouldn't have been found if she hadn't had her stroke. Isn't it scary how you can go through your whole life not knowing that there is an underlying condition hiding in your body? I'm so happy that Lauren is doing well. In reading her post, I couldn't help but feel good. Despite all she's been through, Lauren's smile shines brightly through her post. 

She is so strong and refuses to fall into the "why me?" slump. I wish her nothing but the best on her road to recovery. You can read all about Lauren's brave story HERE 

I love this quote from her post. 

"I need to have the discipline to embrace what has happened to me and get past it."-Lauren

You wear your badge of stroke honor proudly, Lauren! Welcome to the strokie club!

Deja Vu

*My Mom had surgery on Tuesday at NYU Hospital, the same hospital where I was admitted after my stroke. Once she was in recovery, the doctors and nurses said they were going to move her to a room so I rode up with them and her. I kept thinking about my stay at NYU when I was in the Stroke Unit and how this was such a nice hospital with courteous staff. When we were all on the elevator, I kept thinking, this all looks so familiar and then we got off on the floor where my Mom was going to be stationed. I looked up and saw a sign that said Stroke Unit and a chill went up my spine. Immediately, I asked the nurse why she was being stationed on this floor and he said that the other side of the floor was general, not the stroke unit. I didn't feel comfortable AT ALL. Here was a place I was hoping to never visit again and I was thrust into it without being prepared or given a warning. It made me so angry.
Thinking back on it, I still get uncomfortable...but why? I know I am healthy and I am not (knock on wood) going to end up back in the ICU but still, I could have done without being on that floor unexpectedly.
When my Mom realized where she was, she just smiled and nodded. Of course she had bigger things on her mind, you know, like recovering haha. She's fine btw. I stayed with her as long as she needed me but I would be lying if I didn't say that I couldn't wait to get out of there! I kept watching the clock counting down the minutes of time that seemed to be moving super slow. The door to her room was open and I had a clear view of a man walking the floor with a nurse. He must have just had a stroke and was trying to get his bearings. I watched him walk very slowly and carefully with the help of an aid. Seeing the small smile that came across his face as he started to move with more ease made my heart swell. Small victories!
The next day, I went back and I didn't have such a strong reaction to the floor. I let go of the fear I had about ending up back in that place and tried to look at that floor fondly remembering the small steps I took down that hallway almost four years ago.

*Forgive my grammar this post. I am battling a terrible cold that has rendered me quite foggy.

Is It Worth The Risk?

Cigarettes have a warning on them. This product may kill you by heart attack, stroke, etc. We know the risks but what about the risks of marijuana and strokes? Everyone always talks about ganja being natural and not having any consequence. You can even get a prescription for it however apparently a little around 2% of folks who have used medicinal marijuana have had a stroke from usage. WHAT? While 2% isn't a large number, it's still greater than 0. Are we as strokies willing to partake in such things that have even the slightest of a risk.

Let's talk about this more. I mean, we may enjoy the occasional alcoholic beverage, the glass or two of wine here an there but do we ever think of the risk? Mm, there might be a 5% chance that I am going to have another stroke if I have this Pinot. I never thought of risk taking in this way especially with things I used to do before stroke. The things you enjoy doing can now fatally harm you. Sleep...yes, having too little sleep can kill you if you're a strokie. Seriously. I laugh at this one all the time but it's true. Our brains need time to re-charge and rest. This is something I have learned to deal with the hard way being in Grad School. I haven't been getting much rest lately. Now I know that with anyone who doesn't get any sleep that the prognosis isn't good. We're grumpy, we hate everything. Imagine that being a strokie. Right now, it's 11:36pm, why am I not in bed? Why am I trying to hurt myself or put myself in danger (especially since I have crappy healthcare-thanks Affordable Care Act $651.21 a month) if I don't have to? Is the risk worth it? Do I want to end up back in the hospital because of a paper or play? No, Eljon. It will be there tomorrow. Just count Lovenox shots and go to sleep. This plays into the whole, take your time and breathe mantra. Easier said than done I know.

Have you encountered situations post stroke where you ask yourselves, "Is this worth the risk?" How did you deal with it? We all have our ways of dealing with these decisions. It's like having a little angel and a little devil on our shoulders....more like an Aspirin and a Warfarin tablet.  What do you choose? Is it ok to slip and risk once in awhile? I would love to know.

I'm going to sleep :) Be Well!

Your Eyes and the Cold and Stroke and BRRRRR

Anyone else have issues with their eyes post stroke?
Right after my stroke, I could have sworn my eyes changed. My glasses didn't seem to do their duty as well as they used to. I told my doc and she said that this will most likely get better as recovery went on and it has but in the winter...and I had forgotten about this...my vision sometimes goes back to that weird limbo it was in before.
Today I had a moment where I forgot that that used to happen and thought I was going a bit crazy but then remembered that old man winter is a foul person for another reason.

Any of my other strokies ever experience this?

The Challenge With Strokies And Grad School

My brain is mush.
It feels like it has been punched and pounded to a pulp.
No pills really help.
There's never enough rest.

It SUCKS! but it will be over in three months. This semester at Grad School is my most challenging. I have never had to read, write and think so much in as far as I can remember (which let's face it, can be true or not). I love being an MFA candidate. Love love love but it is sometimes very frustrating when a class of my peers discusses works in class and I can't contribute because my brain can't catch up or gets nervous and my words run away and hide.

I get frustrated when we talk about things we've read because I'm pretty sure I read some of these books in High School. I just can't remember them...They're still in that locked part of my brain I don't have the key for, the room of secrets and memories I can no longer access. I'm having one of those days. I HATE not being able to remember sometimes. Brain, you could save me countless hours of re-reading things...but on the flipside, who else can re-live the feeling of reading A Raisin In The Sun for the first time? I have to calm myself and realize that this can sometimes be a blessing. In a class setting of course it's not but it will be my little secret, one I can smile to myself about when I'm feeling upset in a room where everyone's memory was like mine once was.

Show Me Your Stroke Ink!

Happy New Year Fellow Strokies!

I hope your 2014 started off happy and healthy. For readers in the warmer parts of the world, please send some sun to NY! We could really use it.

How have you chosen to celebrate your stroke? I know. Really, Eljon? Celebrating your stroke? I stand by that statement. When going through recovery, you have to remember, you're getting to know your new self! So why not celebrate it? No matter what you have lost due to stroke, remember that you are a warrior. I read something in class that struck me and I think it applies to this situation. "Ask anyone who has ever changed a career, ended a long-standing relationship, or recovered from a serious illness or injury; they will tell you it is like a death, a dying of one's former self so that a new self may be born in its stead."Have any of you felt like that?

Recently I've been getting some emails about my stroke tattoo and have been encouraging readers to send me pics of their beautiful stroke ribbon ink. Below is Nicole's new stroke tat and her description of her body art. She is a two time stroke survivor.

The meaning of the purple cross-spirituality and courage. These are things that hit home for me, plus it's my son's favorite color. If it wasn't for him, I would have given up my fight. He keeps me going. I chose blue so it would tie in with the other two colors. -Nicole

Remember to speak to your doctor if you're going to go down the path of getting a tattoo after stroke. For me, I had to wait until I was off Warfarin for a few months. Blood thinners and tattoos don't mix. Seriously. You don't want to go to the hospital after getting freshly inked because you're bleeding out!

Please send me your pics if you have a stroke tattoo and I'll happily post them.

Be well!

Happy Holidays!

December! 
The last month of the year. Is it just me or has it flown by? It may be me getting older but I find that time passes by so much quicker now. It's like that moment when you're little and suddenly aware of yourself. Think about it, what is your earliest memory? When were you aware that you were in existence. Now we can all say well I remember 10 years ago, 20 years ago, but what about beyond that? Weird, right? How far back can you go? I'm going on a tangent, huh.

Anywho, I have a lot to be thankful for-my health, my family, my friends and my health (so nice I had to say it twice). What are you thankful for? What was the one thing this year that took you by surprise?

Hoping you all are warm and safe this holiday season and wishing you all peace, love and continued good health. Here's to 2014!